I need to share my story because I finally feel like I’m waking up from a long nightmare. I’ve been in a relationship with a guy I knew I was settling for, and let me tell you, it was a wild ride.
So, I’m in my early 40s, and I really wanted a child. When I met him, I thought he could be the one. He was charming enough, and I ignored the red flags—like how he wasn’t exactly the most ambitious guy and, honestly, not the best-looking either. I convinced myself that love was about more than looks and I didn’t want my successful career to be the reason I would miss out on being a wife and a mum.
Fast forward a bit, he moved in and reality set in. He stopped contributing to anything. Rent, bills, you name it. He was fired from his job 6 weeks after moving in and didn’t bother looking for another. I was busting my butt at work while he lounged around, making excuses for why he couldn’t find a job. I kept thinking maybe he just needed a little push, you know? Like, if I loved him enough, he’d get it together.
But it got worse. He’d take me shopping and ask for expensive stuff, like a Samsonite laptop bag, while he didn’t even have a job! I felt so pressured to buy him things; it was like a test to see how far I’d go. I’d try to justify it, thinking he just needed some motivation.
And let’s talk about his friends. They’d come over as “house guests” and basically never leave. They treated me poorly, making jokes at my expense while expecting me to buy their drinks at the pub. It felt like I was running a hotel for freeloaders. I started feeling like a stranger in my own home, catering to people who had zero respect for me.
But the worst part? He was hiding his few belongings from me, like he was some kind of secret hoarder. Kitchen tools and basic stuff were off-limits, as if anything he deemed “his” was sacred. Meanwhile, I was the one working hard to keep everything afloat.
Then came the final straw. I found out he was using the internet I paid for to go on dating sites. Yup, while I was working my ass off, he was swiping away, telling his friends I was the crazy one when I’d get upset about feeling used. I felt so sick to my stomach.
Breaking up with him was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I cried a lot because I felt like I was losing the dream and the “last chance” to be a mum. But deep down, I knew I had to do it. I deserve better than this. I deserve someone who appreciates me, not someone who just takes.
Now, I’m in the process of rebuilding my life, and it’s both scary and exciting. I’ve learned that I can’t depend on anyone who doesn’t respect me or contribute to my happiness. I’m focusing on loving myself more and figuring out what I truly want without the burden of someone who just leeches off me.
So, if you’re in a similar situation, please remember: you deserve so much better than to settle. Your worth isn’t defined by what someone else thinks of you, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting more. Here’s to new beginnings and a future that’s all mine!
Tomorrow, I’m off to a sperm bank. I will be a mum!