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Relationships

A Breakup Without a Support Network

Avoiding the Isolation of a Breakup

You may find yourself going through a breakup without a support network. This could be due to the fact that your friends are all common friends, or maybe even your ex’s friends. Maybe you spent so long in the wrong relatiosnhip that you don’t want to hear “I told you so”, from well meaning friends or family, or maybe you have exhausted all goodwill from your social circle by breaking up and making up so many times over the years. Regardless of the reasons, it’s the end of your relationship and you find yourself all alone dealing with one of the most emotionally harrowing experiences humans endure.


One of our community members found herself in a similar situation, having just turned 35, her long term relationship ended, while she had just moved to a foreign country for work, without any friends. By the time the realtionship ended, she had exhausted her long distance friends and family with the break-up and make-up rollercoaster over many years. No one was willingm to lend a sympathetic ear.

She could have crumbled but she didn’t. She went out. To meetups. To socials organised by social groups. She joined City Socialising and Friends in the City. She found many other souls in the same boat, battling the same demons. One of these souls became a life long friend. Looking back now at her life 10 years later, having found love with another partner, and started a family, she looks back and wonders what would had happened to her had she not found the strength to go out and find her support group.


Even when you don’t feel like it. A heartbreak shared is a heartbreak halved. Engage with our community. Submit your own story. Read our articles. Read other community members’ stories. Hire a professional. Join a meetup in your city. Even without the bandwidth to be around people all the time, please ensure there is someone for you, during those times you need to vent.

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Relationships

Navigating the Pain of Breakups: Understanding Heartbreak and Healing

brown tree

Breakups can feel like a whirlwind of emotions—sadness, anger, confusion—all mixed up with memories of what used to be. It’s tough because it’s not just about losing a partner; it’s like losing a whole future you imagined together. That sense of loss can really hit hard.

Even if the relationship wasn’t great, the emotional attachment can linger, making you feel disappointed and regretful. It’s confusing when you know it wasn’t perfect, but you still ache for what was. Plus, little things, like a song or a place, can bring all those feelings rushing back, reminding you of what you’ve lost.

The Physical Side of Heartbreak

Heartbreak doesn’t just mess with your head; it can take a toll on your body too. Many people lose their appetite or feel super tired all the time. It’s hard to stay motivated when you’re emotionally drained. You might even hold onto old stuff from your ex, which just keeps those sad feelings around longer.

And let’s be real: society often pressures us to bounce back quickly, making everything feel even worse. Heartbreak is tough on both your mind and body, so it’s crucial to tackle both.

Coping: Finding the Silver Lining

While heartbreak can feel overwhelming, there are ways to help yourself heal. Talking to friends or family about what you’re going through can lighten the load. You’ll realize you’re not alone in this mess, and sharing can ease your pain.

Spending time outside can also work wonders. Whether it’s a walk in the park or a hike, nature can help clear your head and lift your spirits. Plus, having good friends around who really listen and care can make a big difference.

Don’t underestimate the comfort of pets! Their love can help chase away loneliness. And if you can, a little getaway to a new place can give you a fresh perspective and help you move on from those painful memories.

Moving On: Embracing Acceptance

Healing from heartbreak is tough, but it’s a crucial part of life. Accepting the pain is the first step toward letting it go. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, but reminding yourself that “this will pass” can really help.

Taking time to reflect on your feelings and what you’ve learned can also boost your resilience. Writing in a journal or meditating can help you process everything. If you’re really struggling, talking to a therapist can provide valuable support.

Remember, healing takes time. The hurt may linger for a while, but it will fade. Engaging in activities you enjoy, leaning on supportive friends, and being open to new experiences can help you move forward.

In short, getting better after a breakup is all about acceptance, self-reflection, and patience. By nurturing positive thoughts, seeking help when needed, and allowing time to work its magic, you can open up to new opportunities and find happiness again.

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Relationships

The Early Days of a Breakup: The Cold Turkey Approach

Understanding the Addiction of Relationship Attachment

Emotional attachment in relationships is very similar to substance addiction. Individuals frequently develop profound connections with their partners, which can become a source of comfort and security. Just like substance addiction, love can trigger powerful emotional responses and create a dependency and addiction. After the end of a relationship, the urge to reach out to an ex-partner can feel overpowering, similar to cravings experienced in substance withdrawal.

This is due to the brain’s wiring, where love and attachment release neurotransmitters such as dopamine. The end of a romantic bond can lead to withdrawal symptoms. Feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and even physical discomfort are all standard responses to the end of a relationship. The inability to break off these attachments contributes to a cycle of emotional distress, pushing people toward behaviors that prolong their suffering, such as contacting their ex, which can only invite more pain.

The mental toll of breaking these emotional ties can be substantial. The longing for connection often clouds judgment, leading individuals to overlook the reasons for the breakup. Understanding these psychological dynamics is essential for navigating the no-contact phase effectively. Recognizing the addictive nature of relationship attachment can empower you to foster healthier habits and emotional resilience.

The Importance of Going Cold Turkey

After a breakup, you may find yourself often trying to find excuses to maintain contact with your ex. This is the addiction guilding the behaviour. The ‘cold turkey’ approach, which entails avoiding any form of communication post-breakup, can be particularly beneficial for emotional recovery and self-discovery. Although the immediate aftermath may provoke feelings of loneliness and longing, embracing a complete separation allows for a necessary period of reflection and healing.

Enduring the withdrawal symptoms that accompany the cold turkey method may be uncomfortable, harrowing even, but is ultimately a pathway to personal growth. As you navigate through the pain of separation, you foster emotional resilience and learn to rely on yourself more. This period of solitude encourages introspection, which is going to allow you to rediscover your interests and passions that you may have neglected during the relationship.

Practical Steps to Maintain No Contact

Implementing and maintaining no contact after a breakup can be challenging.. The first step in executing this strategy is to establish clear boundaries. Begin by blocking your ex on social media platforms and your phone. This can prevent the temptation to check their updates or reach out. By removing digital access, you create a sufficient buffer that minimizes emotional triggers and helps in the healing process.

Avoiding places that your ex frequents is another practical step to consider. This could include bars, restaurants, or social spots that hold shared memories. By steering clear of these locations, you diminish the likelihood of unplanned encounters which can be emotionally distressing. Instead, explore new venues, or revisit interests and activities that lie outside of the shared experiences with your ex.

Physical space is vital during the no contact period. Rearranging your living space can psychologically signify a fresh start, while also avoiding reminders. Get rid of photos, momentos and avoid places where you are likely to “run into” your ex. Take heart, this avoidance strategy does not have to last forever.

During this time of no contact, feelings of temptation may arise, prompting you to reconsider your decision. To combat this, consider utilizing journaling or meditation as coping mechanisms. Journaling enables you to articulate your emotions and reflect on your thoughts, providing clarity during confusing moments. Meditation can help you process feelings without judgment.

Adhering to the no contact rule requires strong commitment and deliberate actions. It’s not easy, but you can do it !

Celebrating no-contact and Practicing Self-Reward

An effective method of implementing the no-contact rule is to set a daily goal. Tell yourself: “I am not going to contact my ex today”. The next day, as you wake up, give yourself a reward for succeeding with no contact before. Repeat every day, until the desire to see or hear from your ex starts to diminish. This is the time for self-love and lots of self-rewards.

Consider engaging in small outings that provide joy and distraction from lingering feelings of sadness. These outings can vary from visiting a local park to enjoying a meal at a favorite restaurant.

Practicing self-care is also an essential component of this process. Setting aside time for self-reflection, engaging in activities that bring you happiness, or even dedicating time for meditation can enhance emotional resilience. You are worthy of love.

As you move through this challenging yet transformative journey, it becomes increasingly important to reflect on your personal progress. Encouraging yourself to pause and appreciate the strength you have found in yourself, as one day of no contact, turns into weeks. You’re now on a path toward healthier relationships with both yourself and others.